Addressing Failure​​​ and Depression.

Have you ever told someone you have a business or a title you have, like being a creator? Then they ask you to see some of your work, and you have to start making excuses on what is going on and why you haven’t been doing things and rebranding this and rebranding that. To put salt in a wound, you have people even enquiring when they can start taking orders for stuff, and you are just chilling there like …. #crickets. So, I’ve really been avoiding addressing the elephant in the room. So, I missed my business launch date, and I just stopped doing anything business-related for a while as well. Let's just take a moment to let that simmer.

When I started this blog, I promised to be transparent about everything and hopefully learn from my mistakes. Because I’ve had a couple of people ask about the whole business situation, I feel I need to address this, hoping that it will help me in the future or maybe even someone else.

Okay, so let’s start from the beginning—every 3rd of July, aka My Birthday. I set New Year’s Resolutions, which I ensure are SMART goals ( Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, timely goals) for the next year. This year was not different; set my goals, came up with strategies for attaining them, set deadlines and all that good stuff. The plan was to have all the branding, website, and vendors ready by January 2018. Then drop the first lineup of clothing in the first week of July 2018. I would go home (Zimbabwe) for a month and get all the other supplies I needed and find a tailor and network with some young-minded business people. But things didn’t really pan out the way I wanted.

Around mid-November, I went into a rut. I couldn’t be bothered to really do anything. I missed classes like crazy; I stopped handing in assignments and became more and more antisocial. Business at that point wasn’t even a priority with all the other things going on. I honestly didn’t feel inspired to do anything but eat, sleep, watch TV and write up plans of the things I would do someday. I knew the goals I had, and I knew how to get to that point, but it just seemed easier to procrastinate with the hope that I would leave the rut and get back to things.

January rolled up, and I had a name, a bank account, potential customers and a website. I mean, I was kind of on track, but I knew I had a lot of work to do. Then life happened, and I went from wanting to be alone and figuring things out alone to being depressed, unmotivated and lonely all the time. The sad thing is that I felt like I couldn’t tell anyone what was going on because I am a friend that looks like they have everything together. The person that people come to for advice when they have a problem. I’m pretty much the mum of most of my friendship circles. But, to say the least, I didn’t do anything after that except for the occasional blog post or video here and there.

Needless to say, my birthday has passed now, and I basically have to start over. The hair business I was doing stopped because I stopped marketing the products, and my clothing company is down right now. It’s not all sad though, I got a sewing machine and have been making some sample products of the different items I want, I have company names and websites, I’m working on being more consistent with this blog as well as the other platforms, but most importantly I cried and really dealt with the stuff that was going on with me.

The main moral of the story here is that if you are your brand, then you need to be at your best for your business to operate at its fullest potential.

Your health be it mental or physical, should always come first… everything else can and will fall into place behind that.

Also, there is a lesson learned in every failure, so get up and shake off the dust. Forgive yourself. Regroup, plan and get back at that dream.