Have you ever been in a room and thought to yourself, "how in the hell did I manage to get myself here?". Or have you ever done something so far out of your comfort zone that you couldn't even fathom doing correctly in your head? When everyone around you kept saying you are the best person to do the job and they thought you were more than capable of doing the job, and you were just there like... well damn, I don't think I can do this man. Or worse, have you ever walk into a room with almost zero confidence and, as a result, just felt the need to apologies for everything you did. Then you felt like you have to justify yourself before you even start doing anything. Well, a couple of weeks ago, I went through all of these things and learned so much from this.
Hello beautiful, welcome.
So, I have a massive life update and a confession/realization. A couple of weeks ago, your girl was the Stage Manager of one of the biggest cultural shows the international community at my school offers and CHILD . . . it was a challenge and a half. I mean, the biggest one being that I had never been a stage manager before this point, and boy was I scared to do it. The experience actually taught me a lot about leadership and business, so I have learned a couple of things from experience.
1. Failure's mindset
The first day of dress rehearsals was the absolute worst. I mean, before I got there, I had already told myself I was going to suck at everything. Now I pride myself on being this very confident and risk-taking individual in general. But what I realized is that this very BOSSY BISH persona I have is easy when it's my fate in my hands. In this situation, though, if I messed up, not only did I have to deal with the fact that I had let down the act but also all the other people who had put in work behind the scenes. Now put all this pressure and then the fear of fucking up at this thing into one sandwich, and what you had was a mess. I went in expecting to fail, and I did (not flat on my face, but it was pretty bad). I was so nervous I kept missing cues and kept forgetting to put people on standby, and on that first day, we left the hall at 11 pm.
I mean, I was so bad I heard the crew talk about how annoying it is when people who can't do a job take up a role they can't do. People think they can do something, but they have no clue what to do when they get the role in actuality. A lot was actually said, and I was so angry that I reconsidered giving up and just going home, but something stopped me. Speaking about it now, I know why they would have felt that way; I couldn't even get a basic instruction without giving an apology. I failed that day because I had failed before I had even started the job.
2. Be true to who you are.
So I got home the following day, and after giving myself a pep talk, I decided I wasn't going to give up. I would do my best, and if that meant that I was failing, I was going to fail most extravagantly ever. So Day 2, I came back to the dress rehearsals with my "don't mess with me" lipstick and some killer shoes. Having decided that I was going to do things my way and if someone had a problem with it, we were going to have to throw down. Okay, maybe not that serious, but I was ready to stand my ground, onward and upward.