Whatsup guys, it's been so long since I posted, but we are back and about to have one of the best seasons. The quote of the week is ...
"Prevention is better than a cure" -Unknown
This is such an important quote to talk about, especially with the exam session coming up and the winter blues hovering above most of our heads. Im writing this, and it's a good and healthy -21 degrees celsius, and that was a negative number you'll. I don't think I've missed African weather this much ever, but anyway, I digress. Today I think we need to have a conversation about having good mental health.
We focus a lot on our physical health and really do neglect our mental health a lot. For one, I am a testament to what can happen when we don't take care of our serves. I think it's about time we have a conversation about this with you guys in the spirit of transparency.
So, without going into too much detail, I entered a very unhealthy relationship with a great guy a couple of years ago. You know those situations where someone is a great person, but they aren't the best person for you. Now I'm the first person to say to you guys that if someone shows you who they are, believe them, but honestly, I think sometimes it's easy for us to see the red flags in someone else relationships and completely be blinded to the mess we are in ourselves. I was out here taking twigs out of people's eyes, but I had an entire tree in my eye. I compromised on some core believes I had and allowed myself to stay in a situation that was very unhealthy for me for waaaaaaaaayyyyyyy to long. Which ultimately led to a downward spiral out of control. But we thank God for the grown and Holy Spirit for the courage to actually leave. There definitely so many lessons I learnt from this relationship that has definitely shifted the way I carry myself and some of the decisions I make now.
I mean, some good did come out of it, too actually; the media platform was born out of that and maybe one of these days, I will share a bit more about things, but now let's get back to what happened afterwards.
So the next year after that carried on as nothing had happened on the outside. I continued to attend all my classes and spoke to about the same people I did before. I started working. I participated in many projects and was involved in a lot of committees and groups around my school community. I met new people and started a new relationship. I started a business and started making some beautiful money on the side. Everything from the outside seemed okay, and I just carried on for the whole year.
See but what happens next was a disaster...
I got an email that I was on academic probation, and if you are university, you know exactly what that means. Your girl had failed, and I mean not just a couple of classes; I had failed the entire year like the whole damn thing. Not to add salt to the wound, my business flopped, and I started making losses. The relationship I was in came to an abrupt end. To add insult to injury, everyone around me talked about how they wanted to be just like me, and I was doing so well for myself. Couldn't they see they were something wrong? Like at this point, I'm just taking big fat Ls in every direction.
Prevention is better than cure. This statement really sums up what I wish I would have done then. For me, it means that prevention from the situations literally hinders us from the discomfort and cost of becoming "sick" or the wounds that come from the sickness. But it also takes less effort and resources to prevent something than it does to cure it.
For a whole year, I was a zombie, a walking talking functioning corps, and all of that could have been prevented if I would have just gone and gotten help. Mental health is something we often forget about and push to the side. We often think if we ignore something long enough, it will affect us, but that isn't always the case. It might not kill you today, but one day, when you least expect it, it will rear its ugly face. If I knew then what I know, I would not have wasted all that time and lost all those friendships and relationships, but as I said before, thank God for growth. We live, and we learn. I know I still have some much learning to do, but I am making steps to get myself in order, and for me, that looks like therapy and writing, but it could be something different for you.
Today's challenge is that you take some time to take care of yourself (meditate, write is a journal, pray, call a counsellor, talk to a friend or family member, etc.). And if you are struggling with something, get that help. The first step is easier than you think. There is nothing to be ashamed of, and some things are out of our control, so stop blaming yourself for things.
The success of your Business, Academics, Relationships and so much more are all tied up to our success at having balance in our lives. Physical health is important but don't forget you need all the other elements of health to work at your OPTIMUM point.
- Ms Fadzo 2019
Thanks for reading, and I hope you, too, can learn from my scares.